It's Film Festival time, which means five-hour allegorical Iranian black-and-white pseudo-political romanti-tragic social commentary epics are high on the list of discussion topics at horn-rimmed dinner parties. However, fear not silly-premised-horror fans, for Mr Gosden & Co have not forsaken you.

The one thing I’d been told about It Follows was that it was about “a supernatural STI”, and well, that more or less sums it up. It’s the age old lesson those foolish good-looking-teenagers never seem to learn: for goodness sake, don’t ever have sex! Nothing good can ever come of The Coitus 'cause, like, even if you don’t get pregnant, there’s still the chance that hunky jock Chad from the football team has put a freaking curse on you. Major bummer, dude.

Playing out like a “scared straight” flick funded by the Exclusive Bretheren, this is the parable of 19-year-old Jay, the as-close-to-virtuous-as-2014-will-allow blonde heroine who, after a little bit of back-seat snuggling, discovers she is the proud new owner of a slow-walking, no-talking, sometimes-nude, sometimes (but only sometimes) scary supernatural stalker. No matter where she goes, this pesky spectre eventually finds its way down the driveway. Pretty annoying for Jay, no doubt, especially when to begin with, nobody believes her.

Inevitable solutions to losing said tailgater include: hiding out in a creepy abandoned house, hiding out in a creepy beach house, hiding out in a creepy swimming pool, and… more! Thankfully-slash-disappointingly, It Follows never really goes down the 80s horror route of exploitative T&A, despite some “life model” type nudity from our shapeshifting protagonist. The pass-the-parcel sexy times are always of the tops-on, duvets-for-decency variety, and our gal and her pals remain pretty-good-kids-really throughout.

Where the 80s hey-day does get a look in, however, is in the John Carpenter-esque synthy soundtrack, courtesy of 8-bit whizkid Disasterpeace. The electro-rumbles and moody soundscapes assist in transplanting It Follows from the standard fare American teen horror genre into something a whole lot more interesting: indie American teen horror! Seriously!

Director David Robert Mitchell’s second full-length picture, and first foray into horror is a moral tale for the ages, and bound to be a minor smash on the R-16 creepshow circuit. Seasoned horror fans will be 3-2-1 counting the jumps and scares, and there are few-to-no sweet gore moments, but It Follows is content to play out at its own pace, and… you know… it’s actually kind of sweet.

NZIFF: It Follows
D: David Robert Mitchell (USA, 2014, 100 minutes)
Buy Auckland tickets here