Performance26.09.21
#inhale|exhale

Chris Parker Could Stop Tomorrow!

“What about a joke when you get a nose swab?” Comedians Janaye Henry and Chris Parker on content creation, lockdown lows and Celebrity Treasure Island.

With the whole country recently in lockdown and Tāmaki Makaurau still to emerge, screen time is up, and everyone’s on their phones. Chris Parker is an award-winning comedian, actor and writer who has been feeding the masses with his delicious content on Instagram. He treats us to recurring characters and witty observations of lockdown behaviour, giving us a single second in the day to laugh and momentarily forget the worries of the world. I, alternatively, make content almost exclusively about those worries but attempt to add a comedic spin or an educational element. Chris and I are real-life friends, and we caught up (virtually) to have a chat.

**

Janaye Henry: You get a lot of comments on Instagram of people saying you are getting them through lockdown. Do you feel bound by that?

Chris Parker: Great question! No, I don’t feel bound by that. It’s so weird because you feel this real connection – not real, but it feels real – to everyone and then also you’re just alone in your house, and you could just cut those ties and hermit away. It’s surreal, the whole ‘get me through.’ No, I don’t feel any duty or responsibility. I could stop, I could just stop tomorrow!

JH: That’s the headline: Chris Parker Could Stop Tomorrow!

CP: I’m just entertaining myself and hopefully entertaining other people. This wasn’t a call to action, you know.

“Hi. Love the video today. What about when you have to restart your car to get the battery working and you’ve realised you’ve lost the keys for two weeks? Just a thought x x x Janet.”

JH: Oh for sure! Do you ever get specific sketch requests from people?

CP: 100%. I’ve just taken off the email function on my Instagram because people were emailing me and someone was like, “Hi. Love the video today. What about when you have to restart your car to get the battery working and you’ve realised you’ve lost the keys for two weeks? Just a thought x x x Janet.” And I have not replied but I get things like that all the time. I imagine, in terms of the space you hold with your content, that people are like, “Have you considered this [very specific issue]” that you’re probably not qualified to talk on or is super complicated. Mine is more, “What about a joke when you get a nose swab?”

JH: [Laughs] My inbox is like, “Here’s an article of the saddest injustice you’ve ever seen. Make it funny!”

CP: [Laughs] Oh god!

JH: Yeah, it’s a lot! It’s always about raising awareness. Sometimes I just want to be like, “Can you please just let me make a silly video?” It’s okay – everything is good fuel for comedic material. Wild messages, lockdowns, you especially are great at utilising the lockdown experience for creativity. Are you being recognised out in the streets during lockdown, under the mask?

CP: I got recognised once at the supermarket, an essential worker. Oh, and someone else in a carpark. Usually, it’s after lockdown when the mask comes off!

JH: I prefer someone coming up to me in person than messaging me after like, “Hey I saw you in Countdown Glenfield.”

CP: I’m so scared of someone being like, “Hey I just saw you in the Countdown carpark eating that chicken,” because I’m constantly eating a chicken in the Countdown carpark.

JH: Rotisserie?

CP: Like a little half...

I wore a bikini top in the bath so I could continue video chatting with my friends

JH: [Laughs] What is your lowest moment of lockdown? But I mean it in a fun way. I’ll give you my answer first, so you know the tone. A few nights ago, I wore a bikini top in the bath so I could continue video chatting with my friends.

CP: Oh my god, I love that. Okay... I can only think of sad things.

JH: You can say something sad if you want, if you want to be real.

CP: Brynley [Chris’s flatmate and longtime best friend] and I were so sick of each other's company, but we insisted on having a collective flat dinner. So we passive-aggressively cooked around each other for an hour – even though we could’ve called it off – until we sat down and then were totally fine. That’s probably a great encapsulation of the lockdown experience, forcing everyone to do a ‘fun dinner’ while you’re also not wanting to do it and then being a nightmare to be around.

JH: I think that’s a good low [laughs]. What does success look like to you on a lockdown day?

CP: I’ve decided to define success as achieving one thing a day. The first lockdown I remember being like I’m not getting enough done in a day and I feel disgusting about that. I was constantly torturing myself. Today I’ve already achieved success because I did a session with my personal trainer on Zoom, so whatever happens in the afternoon will be amazing no matter what I achieve. I think it’s a kinder way of talking to myself than in the past where I would be like, come on, you piece of shit, why haven’t you finished the first draft of your film yet?

I could be like, “Hey remember when I made content through lockdown? Now you can go watch my film"

JH: [Laughs]That’s so toxic. I was so excited to learn you are writing a movie!

CP: It’s so cool. I would love to be halfway through the film by the end of the lockdown. I really want it. I could be like, “Hey remember when I made content through lockdown? Now you can go watch my film and support me at the box office.”

JH: Now get me through my 30s by seeing my movie! That’s kind of what it’s about. Anything you do on social media can result in more work.

CP: Yeah – you have to admit, you need to get a certain profile in this country for people to show up and see your work. It’s so hard to get people to turn up and see your work here.

JH: Where’s the first place you’re going to go when we are out of the levels? For me, personally, Rainbow’s End.

CP: I’m going to go see my friends.

JH: Boring!

CP: Michael and I were going to get away on a couple’s retreat. I just got my full license, and I have these dreams of legally driving my fiancé around the country. I want to hire a car and take him to Taupō! But depending on how this lockdown goes I might just be straight into work. Oh, and Celebrity Treasure Island is out so I might be hiding in shame.

It’s such a stressful, heightened experience being on the show [Celebrity Treasure Island], and while watching it back my body has been reliving it again

JH: I have been absolutely loving the show! It looks so hard, like school camp but harder. Has anything surprised you while watching the show?

CP: It’s also confronting watching it back. It’s such a stressful, heightened experience being on the show, and while watching it back my body has been reliving it again, and I’ve been struggling sleeping and some other things. Luckily, production provides a therapist and she’s given me great advice. It’s also confronting to see how intense I am, how fully immersed I got in that world. I fully forgot I could have had a good time as well [laughs].

JH: Oh wow, that is so much to process for you! It’s easy for me, as the viewer, to forget you are really living it, I just love the drama. Who was your most surprising friendship on the show?

CP: Lance Savali. I was already kind of obsessed with him because I used to watch his videos with Elvis Lopeti and I thought they were hilarious. When I learnt he was on the show I was a bit starstruck and freaked out. When I met him in real life he was the sweetest man I’ve ever met. A beautiful friendship formed. I love that guy.

JH: Oh those videos are so good, I would deeply love to see Elvis on Celebrity Treasure Island too. Has anything from the show stuck with you?

CP: There’s so much stigma that comes with doing a reality TV show, and I’m totally aware of that and happy to laugh at myself. However, the experience was formative for me. It had a deep impact on me and I’m so grateful that I did it. While its impact on the media landscape is trivial and fun, the impact on me personally is something that has changed me for the rest of my life. Who would’ve thought balancing a ball on a stick would do that!

Feature image: Sherry Zhang

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The Pantograph Punch publishes urgent and vital cultural commentary by the most exciting new voices in Aotearoa.

The Pantograph Punch publishes urgent and vital cultural commentary by the most exciting new voices in Aotearoa.

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